Those who have the conflict avoidant style also need to learn the skill of soothing themselves whenever they are flooded. Avoiding a lengthy give-and-take conversation does not lead to “buying in” to a decision. Still others might agree in the moment but then act in just the opposite way. Other people might actually leave the room or leave the conversation emotionally and it is clear that the conversation is one-sided. Some people directly refuse to discuss an issue and will use comments like “You are being unreasonable and I refuse to talk with you about this” or “We never get anywhere when we argue and I am not going to talk anymore.” Men are more likely then women to run away from conflict however, many women also become flooded with conflict and are prone to struggle with how to remain in difficult conversations in calm and productive ways. When couples don’t resolve issues, when one or both of them have the conflict avoidant style, they are more likely to grow distant from each other as they each feel frustrated, hurt and disappointed. While fighting is usually not good, NEVER talking things through and resolving differences is also unhealthy for relationships. Bill was really frustrated because he thought that they were never able to get through any discussions and reach decisions. Any time that Bill raised his voice, or she thought he raised his voice, she would cry and become very upset. Therapists are Standing By to Treat Your Depression, Anxiety or Other Mental Health NeedsĮllen grew up in a home where there was a lot of fighting.
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